Annoying things my kids do.

You know what would make having kids so much better? If they had an off switch. I’d even settle for a mute button.  I’m sure every parent has that same moment every day where you ask yourself “what the hell is wrong with my kid?” or “holy shit could they possibly be more annoying?”. I even question my husband if he thinks the kids are all a little bit off in the head.  It starts the moment they wake up, there’s no quiet morning whispers. They wake up and they’re already in the middle of a full blown conversation you’re supposed to understand.  They can’t even stop to eat breakfast and so all the food just misses their mouths and ends up on the table and floor.  Then playtime comes and they drag out every toy and leave it, making sure to turn on all the noisy ones you shut off because those are always they favorites (my husband gave my kids their own duck calls, payback is coming) then they move on to trying to get things that aren’t even toys (get out of my cupboards!) (Stay out of my room!). So now I’ve become a jungle gym to my toddler anytime I sit down, he seriously lives to hurt me. Noise noise noise but if it’s too quiet suddenly you know something bad is happening in some corner of the house.  I’d also like to comment that kids cartoons nowadays suck (which is probably why they won’t sit still to watch them). I feel like every second is part of an interrogation with all the questions I have to answer (who?what?where?why?when?how?) and then they just repeat everything like a parrot on drugs.  Every meal ends up fed to the dog but whatever you’re eating gets stolen. They spend endless amounts of energy to drive you crazy but they aren’t tired enough to just go to bed!  I never realized that being obnoxious could be a natural instinct…like seriously, we give them life and they are trying to drive us to the loony bin.

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